Sexual Assault Part Two: "You have permission to say no"

Sexual Assault Part Two: "You have permission to say no"

By Rachel Droze
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 12TH 2015

MARQUETTE — "I want there to be change in the world," said 22-year-old Mary Glittenberg.

Two-and-a-half years after her alleged abusive relationship ended, Mary is back at Northern Michigan University.

Originally she planned to major in theater, but now she's getting a degree in social work.

"I want to work in a women's shelter, and I want to help people who were like me and who were afraid to reach out," said Mary.

Mary said more discussion about sexual assault needs to be going on in communities.

"We need to teach our sons and our daughters that you can't hurt anybody," said Mary. "No means no, that if somebody's drunk, they can't consent. If you don't want to do something, you can say no; you have permission to say no."

"Everybody needs to be aware of consent, consent laws, consent itself, understand what it is and understand what can happen if there is no consent," said NMU Public Safety Det/Lt Guy LaPlante.

Consent means communicating every step of the way, and respecting that when they don't say "no," it doesn't mean "yes."

"If you are afraid to say no, if you are intimidated, if you are intoxicated, if you physically aren't able to, then that's not consent," said Amy Bilodeau, sexual assault program coordinator at Marquette's Women's Center.

Women's centers and shelters, hospitals, Title IX offices on college campuses and local law enforcement agencies all offer resources to help victims and educate the public.

Ultimately, Mary said we need to change the way we think and talk about sexual assault.

"It's not about telling our girls to wear less provocative clothing, it's saying that sexual assault and rape is a social problem that cannot be ignored and we need to stand up against it," said Mary.

Mary has been unable to press formal charges against her alleged attacker.

Sexual assault and domestic violence resources available by county:

• Alger County: Women's Center/Harbor House, 906-225-1346 or 906-226-6611
• Baraga County: Baraga County Shelter Home, 906-524-5017 or 906-524-7078
• Chippewa County: Diane Peppler Resource Center, Inc., 906-635-0566 or 1-800-882-1515
• Delta County: Tri-County Safe Harbor, 906-789-9207 or 906-789-1166 or 1-800-682-1649
• Dickinson County: The Caring House, Inc., 906-774-1337 or 1-800-392-7839
• Gogebic County: Domestic Violence Escape, Inc. (DOVE), 906-932-4990 or 906-932-0310 or 1-800-711-6744
• Houghton County: Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home for Abused Women, Inc., 906-337-5632 or 906-337-5623
• Dial Help, Inc., 906-482-9077 or 906-482-4357 or 1-800-562-7622
• Iron County: The Caring House, Inc., 906-774-1337 or 1-800-392-7839
• Keweenaw County: Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home for Abused Women, Inc., 906-337-5632 or 906-337-5623
• Luce County: Diane Peppler Resource Center, Inc., 906-635-0566 or 1-800-882-1515
• Mackinac County: Diane Peppler Resource Center, Inc., 906-635-0566 or 1-800-882-1515
• Marquette County: Women's Center/Harbor House, 906-226-6611 or 1-800-455-6611
• Menominee County: Tri-County Safe Harbor, 906-789-9207 or 906-789-1166 or 1-800-682-1649
• Ontonagon County: Barbara Kettle Gundlach Shelter Home for Abused Women, Inc., 906-337-5632 or 906-337-5623
• Schoolcraft County: Tri-County Safe Harbor, 906-789-9207 or 906-789-1166 or 1-800-682-1649
• http://uppermichiganssource.com/news/local/sexual-assault-part-two-we-need-to-stand-up-against-it